31 May 2005

insanity on a platter

Recipe for creating a zombie- get four hours (less, preferably) of sleep after a week and a half of extreme stress and little sleep. Go to school. Repeat as necessary.
I HATE final projects. I also hate having to do work late. I HATE THIS WEEK. I want school to be over already god dammit. It's over, fuck it all. Why... god why. I have three or four assignments left and then it is OVER. Forever. No more high school. Summer and then off to college.
I have to go to Karate, then I'll post an addendum.

30 May 2005

BR Act

Just finished Battle Royale, one of the really classic films of today. In case you're wondering what, exactly it is, I'll tell you.
Sometime in the future, Japan economy crashes. Crime rises, there is 15% unemplyoment, et al. In response to rising youth crime rates and disturbances, the government passes the Battle Royale Act (BR Act). The BR Act allows the government to take a class of 7th graders every so often and throw them on a deserted island, together, with weapons of all kinds and explosive collars. The last one alive after three days wins.
It's sick. It's twisted. It's hillarious at parts, and wholly disturbing. I loved every second of it. There's a sobering ending, but that doesn't diminish the impact of the movie. At its heart, it's a critique of Japanese society and the division between kids and adults, and what growing up really is.
It's hard to explain the effect it's had on me so far, but I know that I'm way better prepared than any of those kids were. At least I know how to shoot.

24 May 2005


"you now have a swift." -- IT-HE software.

There is a special kind of torture reserved for those who are so close to the people they love, and yet seperated by some distance. So close... and she leaves on wednesday. At least I get one more night, time is all I ask for.

22 May 2005

make me shining

She's back ^_^
I'm so happy I couldn't even muster the energy to post this yesterday, I had to just be happy for a day. It's so crazy and wonderful that one person can make my average expression into a kind of idiotic smile ^_^ from a blank line. Hey, I'm not arguing! It's so good to see her again... back together after so long. When she showed up at my door on Friday... god, it all comes back so fast. The smell of her hair, her smile, everything. It's like she never left at all, we just pick up right where we left off, it's so right and good. We went out to dinner at a little resteraunt near my house that serves (excellent) Italian food, but it really wouldn't have mattered much to me if we had just ordered pizza. We realized that we couldn't exactly sequester ourselves away from everyone for the entire night (as we both wished we could) so I decided that dinner would be nice. It was still very nice though, I'm incapable of regretting any time I spend with her.
Every time, right before I see her again, I always get these worry pangs. Do I still feel the same? Is what I am feeling still real love? The answer is always yes, I don't know why I worry so much ^_^
Well, these next few days promise to be good, regardless of anything else that happens.

18 May 2005


Damm, I love Jack in the Box.
There is something so ineffably RIGHT about their ultimate cheeseburger. No, let me say that again. Ultimate Cheeseburger. you can't possibly hope to grasp the ultimateness of the ultimate cheesburger. Putting bacon on it is a sin. You must ENJOY IT PLAIN, and enjoy it I do. I enjoy it with the intense and massively guilty concentration one reserves for forbidden fruit and suchlike. I consume it hot and savor every deliciously juicy bite, knowing that I have, at last, reached the HOLY GRAIL of gamer food. It is truly as TheVede said, the Jack in the Box ultimate cheesebuger is the food of champions.
No school tomorrow, weee. I'm bouncing up and down with the need to have some SERIOUS FUN. So I'm going to go play Raven Shield, maybe some EVE, and some CS. Becasue THAT is what life is about. FUN.
Also, briefly-
*That crazy cat Hideo Kojima is at it again, catch some details at 1up. (RE: Metal Gear Solid)
*Warren Ellis is still a good man.
*id software is at it again with new games called Enemy Territory: Quake Wars and Quake 4.
*UT2007 is shaping up nice, check the shots over at Voodoo Extreme, they make mighty tasty desktops.

13 May 2005

I talk, everyone listens.

That's one of the things I like about my blog. It's just me talking, nobody else gets to butt in and steal my air-time. ^_^
My computer is now back up and running at 95% capacity (there's always something I forget to install). Didn't have to reinstall games (yay) because they were on my SATA drive, which did not need to be formatted. Did lose all my email archives, though. Feh.
God, it's so good to be back up and running, master of my life again, not relying on borrowed machine time, able to waste my time doing what I want to do. I'm much happier now, not just because of this. It's taken me a long time to get here, but I finally think that my social senses are reaching maturity. I had a few false starts, but I'm moving forward at last...
On that subject, It's very interesting (and painful as well) for me to look back and see how easily and well I interfaced with computers and how poorly I did with people. I guess what what's-his-name said is kinda true- "Don't you people GET IT? I HAVE PEOPLE SKILLS! I AM VERY GOOD WITH PEOPLE!"
In the vein of humor, check this out. I have to say that this is probably the most quintessentially 'geek humor' PA comic I've seen in recent memory. Not, of cours,e to say that every PA comic isn't a solid, golden masterpeice; a pinnacle of carefully crafted humor that is only surpassed by the next magnum opus. And now remember that these are produced EVERY WEEK, FOR YOU, by Gabe and Tycho. I would gladly dive into a bath of warm, liquid goat cheese to show my appreciation to these men, such is their personal magnetism and tendency towards massive amounts of profanity.
Been listening to Secret Agent radio nonstop since I got home and turned on the puter today. All new stuff, all compelling, and I LIKE being a secret agent, kthxbye.
AP Computer Science final project is being worked on. I'm writing a character generator for Dream Pod 9's Silhouette CORE RPG system. It should be able to handle Attributes, Skills, and printing itself. Written in Java, of course. I might be able to squeeze in Weapon and Equipment handling if I really try. We'll see how my time works out.
Got a laptop that was about to be trashe, an IBM thinkpad 600X. Swapped out the busted HD for a new one, kindly donated by my helpful contact in the IT department, and va-boom, good as new. I was GOING to install Fedora Core RC2 Tettnang on it, but my CD burner decided to make a few coasters... and I ran out of blank CD-Rs. I'm pissed about that because a. I should have KNOWN I was low, and b. I should have taken the extra 5 minutes to reinstall Nero 6, because it has never yet left me with a coaster. The truth of it is that I have no good idea why the CD would be corrupted, and I might just DL the latest release out of spite... even though it's going to be a LOT of megs and gigs. I may have a 1.5 mb/s pipe, but 2.5 gigs or so takes a long time even on that.
Steam decided that my CS: Source cache was fux0red, so I have to re-DL all that before I can play. I hope I dson't have to do the same with any other games.... I wanna have some fun, dammit. May as well just play Raven Shield, though... and I need to find out the OC threshold for my new Athlon64 3000+. I NEED SPEED. MUCH SPEED. And best of all, I have an Arctic Cooling A64 Freezer cooler to back up my need for SPEED. MY new rig, actually, is flippin' awesome.

AMD Athlon64 3000+ (socket 939, winchester core, 90nm process, WOOHOO.)
ASUS A8V motherboard
Chaintech Geforce 6600GT (AGP 8X)
1GB Corsair ValueSelect DDR400 RAM (I needed it on short notice, so I picked the cheapest good kind I could find on the [H]ot Deals forum... 100$ shipped next day, not bad.)
160GB Hitatchi true-SATA drive (no PATA bridges here, fuckers)
80GB Maxtor (OS and misc drive)
Thermaltake Silent purepower 480w w/front-panel fan controller
Lite-On SOHR-5038, but I flashed the BIOS to a SOHR-5238S to unlock TRUE POWER.
A venerable Toshiba DVD-ROM drive, now almost seven years old but still going strong! (from my first ever personal computer)
And lastly, a kickass case with side fan, side window, and front lights.

Yeah, it's pimp. Yeah, it cost me a lot of money. Yeah, it's like my child. I love the little bastard. Despite all the stress he's caused, he's brought me much joy as well. Although not as much as a certain other person has. ^_^ SHE is the love of my life, and she's comin home in six days. *excitement*.
I guess it might be the time of year that's getting to me, but I've started looking back on old games and remembering how much fun they can be. For example, Syphon Filter 1 and 2 are STILL fun. So is MGS2. The new Syphon Filter game sucks mightily, though. I ended up buying it instead of MGS3 because crapUSA didn't have Snake Eater... feh... I should have obeyed my little voice and not spent my money but I was bored. Well, I've learned THAT lesson.
Dinner now, mmm food.

11 May 2005


decided to forgo caps in this post because i am lazy and tired and i think it reflects my current mood. which is, in no particular order- pissed, tired, lonely (dare i admit it) and fucking fed up with life and the way things are going. this has been my schedule for the past week.
last monday/tuesday- computer craters, taking only my entire fucking life with it. this has been preceded by a week of progressively worse and more-occurring lockups.
last wednesday- it's dead, jim. my dad refuses to buy me new parts, saying he will not even loan me any money until i have 'talked it over' with richard bender, my friend in the it department.
last thursday- i reach a consensus that the motherboard is buggered. i order new parts. no homework is done due to me worrying and suffering withdrawal.
last friday- more withdrawal. more worrying. parts have shipped but will not arrive until the 10th. fuckers. i will personally gut all of newegg's retail staff.
saturday- listless day. no work. long nap. watch full metal jacket, get insommnia (unrelated i think)
sunday- work on wrong english paper. no stress relief.
monday- find out i worked on the wrong english paper. debate what to do. do nothing. noe work done. no attention paid. stress, worry. come home, parts have arrived. yay! look at motherboard. does not support the ram i have. curse. scream. cry. call friend to secure pickup of alternate ram. feel a bit better. assemble computer as completely as possible. pray.
tuesday (today)- stress. get bubble tea and dim sum at 6th. life = good. come home with new ram. new ram does not fit. scream, rage. order new ram off of offer found on hardocp and choose next-day air shipping in fit of pique. stress about 100$ of debt. stress about english papers. plan to plead computer crises. no work on apcs proposal due tomorrow. math is done, only good thing today besides food which will make me even fatter and less attractive than i already am. lonely. miss girlfriend, feel helpless about tome and distance between us. wonder why the person i love the most and i must be seperated so much. crave companionship, feel jealous and stifled. feel shitty, write in blog.

so now you know why i haven't written and why i am doing so poorly. i'd like to think that i have a legitimate reason, not just angst. going to bed now, sleep more and be happier in morning.

07 May 2005


I've just had the urge suddenly to justify where I have lunch with reviews of the places I have lunch. So here is the first episode of my very own food review serivce, FoodCricket. Write in for somewhere to eat in San Rafael, CA or San Fransisco, CA, and I'll review it when I eat there!

FOODCRICKET- Quizno's Versus Subway- Who is better?

Today, for the first time in a while, I had lunch at a Quizno's. for those of you who don't know what it is, Quizno's is a seemingly nation-waide chain that serves soups, salads, and subs with tasy names like "The Traditional" "The Italian Classic" and "The Black Angus Sub", to name a few. They're obviously in complete conflict with Subway, a much older chain that also serves soups, salads and subs. Subway subs, tohugh, tedn to have names like "The Chicken Bacon Ranch" and "Southwest Steak". After consuming my sub sandwich today at Quiznos, I decided to fairly evaluate each on its merits and come up with a definitive statement, from a consumer's point of view- which is better?
//Begin Mortal Kombat music.

Round One- Presentation.
Personally, I've yet to see a Quizno's that has a small footprint. A Quizno's tends to have much more space than a Subway. Their 'production line' for sandwiches is organized in a sharply linear fashion, with ingredients, the toaster, and then more ingredients. Subway, by contrast, is much more zigzag. All ingredients are in one area, all breads in another behind the counter, as is the toaster. A Subway sandwich assembly involves much more spinning and thus, opportunity for sanwiches to take an unfortunate spill.
Area- Quizno's
Mad skills- Subway
Best looking- Quizno's
Time from start to finish- Subway
DOUBLE KO. (tie)

Round Two- Service.
I have NEVER been ignored in a Subway. In fact, I've actually been harassed by the proprietors in one situation when I was torn between sandwiches. Subway dudes are constantly on you- "What sandwich? What bread? Toppings? Toasted?" I like that. It awakens my primal combative instinct. I must to decide which pieces of information I will divulge to them and which I will withhold until an inopportune moment. I have this guy aqt my local Subway. I never got his name, but I call him Eduardo in my mind, because even though he is very chinese, he seems colombian. I like to characterize him as sneaky and conniving, even tohugh he is nothing of the sort. I like to think that our eyes meet, knowingly, in some parody of a drug deal every time I ask for my sandwich, placing particular emphasis on certain key ingredients. The man has personality. It is HIS sandwich until I hand over the cash, and he never lets me forget that. Now on the other hand, I have often waited in bovine complacency for up to five mintues in an empty Quizno's, bewildered that no-one has asked me what I want. I have been systematically ignored by Quizno's employees because I didn't understand where I could order my sandwich. Quizno's employees are not bitter, disillusioned, or shady. They are bright, happy-looking, and perky. If you have ever talked to me, you will know that I despise perky people. I think that their attitude could be easily changed for the better by an acupuncture needle though the nose. They do not respond to my subtle cues. They simply smile and say thank you. They are blank slates, just like starbucks baristas. This is bad, ineffably bad. I've discoursed about starbucks for hours in a paper before, and let me just say that starbucks is worse than televangelism. Not by much. But it is EVIL.
Shadiness- Subway
Attitude- Subway
Good lighting- Quizno's
Confidence-inspiring- Subway.

Final Round- Taste.
Now we come to the final battle. The conclusions are thus- While Quizno's might be said tyo actually have a greater diversity of ingredients to place uponsubs, this is a heinous lie. Thery just hve more pouches in the ingredient area. Subway has more, better ingredients to place upon your sandwich, and they give you more. Quizno's has the GALL to WEIGH my meat before putting it on a sandwich! They use a bloody SCALE! Where is the easy delicatessen confidence? Ou sont les neigedens d'antan? Nowhere, that's where. Quizno's is a house of LIES. they claim to be authentic submarine sandwich manufacturers, when in fact they are confidence-less amateurs!
Quantity of ingredients- Subway
Diversity of ingredients- Subway
Amount of ingredients- Subway
Taste- I like subway better. they seem to actually TOAST their 'toasted' sanwiches.


As always, YMMV. But trust me on the sunscreen.

03 May 2005

A cure for education

I'm learning how to drive (as in practicing) right now, and I was browsing bash.org... saw this quote.
Session Start: Thu Dec 12 21:34:30 2002
*burzzzzzz* 23:56:55
*burzzzzzz* 3 more mins !! :D
*cystum* till what
*burzzzzzz* i can drive on my own
*burzzzzzz* 00:00:01
*burzzzzzz* !!!!
*milolilo* you're free!
*burzzzzzz* <-- officialy a driver !! :D

(two days pass)
Session Start: Sat Dec 14 19:38:29 2002
*burzzzzzz* i had a little disagreement with cement pilar while looking for a place to park my car :/

All I can say is ouch... much ouch. Hope that doesn't happen to me, at least not badly. I have a shitty 1986 Volvo station wagon in deathly gray... with animal stickers on the windows, a relic of my childhood. I'll hopefully learn how to wokr the stick shift at some point.