GIB STEW!

So, I was going to log in, write an angry emo post about hate and wage wage wage, but then I accidentally went to the shack and found INTERNETS JESUS staring at me, offering me a long island iced tea in one hand and an amazing Russian call-girl in the other, and some cocaine on a mirror at his feet. I partook, and it was GOOOOOOOOD.
So, now that thou hast partaken of the awesome in the title link, bear with me.
A 2000% INCREASE IN PLAYERS? One free weekend. That's all. Oh right, and an expansion pack that substantially buffed the content offerings of the game.
Now UT3 has CTF, vCTF, DM, TDM, Greed, WAR, and my personal favorite, Betrayal. If you read my blog at all, you know how much I relish being a dick to people online. This gametype is made JUST FOR ME, AND NOBODY ELSE.
The gist of it is so very simple- You are on a team. Everyone else is fair game. You shoot them, you get frags, they go into the team pot. The twist? To KEEP the frags, and add them to your personal total, you have to KILL YOUR TEAMMATES.
Excuse me while I go laugh evilly in the corner.
Muhuhaha. Muhuhahahah. MUHUHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!
Ok, better now.
In addition, when you kill a teammate, you become fair game for everyone in the game. If one of your former teammates get revenge on you, they get a bonus! If you avoid revenge for a full minute, you get a bonus! This gametype rewards not garden-variety asshattery, but STRATEGIC, CLEVER, PREMEDITATED asshattery. I LOVE IT!
The bots suck at it. But people, oh they are a joy. It is so satisfying when you suddenly realize that you have 20 frags in the pot, and you haven't seen a teammate in about 30 seconds. Suddenly, you get this evil smile and start thinking, "oh hai mister teammate, let's team up and... yeah... you go first." BLAM. +20 frags. And then the announcer roars "ASSASSIN!" in the most badass voice ever.
The crowning touch? In the scoreboard, and on your teamlist, you can see how many betrayals someone as committed as little knives next to their name. That really good nice, quiet teammate of yours? Yeah, he also happens to have SEVEN knives next to his name. Guess you should just tag along behind, huh?

In addition, Penny Arcade has now become funny again.

In addition, here is my rant from before, short though it now is after hearing the good news of internet jesus.
So, here I am in the Airport Lounge, working, and I see some devastatingly cute girl with short hair and a low-back top trying to get the print to work. Being the pathetic wretch I am, I immediately think of helping her. And this is where my troubles begin.
See, I have to wonder: Should I do something? It is so totally NOT my job. The monitor is sitting right there, but she's not doing jack. I could diagnose and fix it, I am sure. But I would have to go and DO it, and I am supposed to be doing my own work right now. But I cannot bear to see people, mostly just pretty girls, having trouble with computers. But if I do go and do it, how pathetic does that make me? Very?
I did it anyway. She was thankful. In one ear, out the other. I can't help but think of something I heard once- What's the difference between a friendless misanthrope and the life of the party with a steady non-crazy girlfriend?
Care to guess?
9 months of conscious behavior modification.
The only question that I have is this: Can the life of the party still live with himself when he's alone at night?
If it were me, the all-too-familiar answer would be "no," I think.